Quote from Uses of the Erotic: the erotic as power by Audre Lorde;

"The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized sensation. For this reason, we have often turned away from the exploration and consideration of the erotic as a source of power and information, confusing it with its opposite, the pornographic. But pornography is a direct denial of the power of the erotic, for it represents the suppression of true feeling. Pornography emphasizes sensation without feeling.

The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire. For having experienced the fullness of this depth of feeling and recognizing its power, in honor and self-respect we can require no less of ourselves.

It is never easy to demand the most from ourselves, from our lives, from our work. To encourage excellence is to go beyond the encouraged mediocrity of our society. But giving in to the fear of feeling and working to capacity is a luxury only the unintentional can afford, and the unintentional are those who do not wish to guide their own destinies."

Zami: The Reminder

What strikes me so so deeply about Audre's vision is her determination to find the ways of really holding on to her deepest emotions and not turn away from them. Zami is a testament and chronicle of that journey. The reality of how excruciating and rewarding that choice is to really face and open yourself to that pain and to real feeling and love. I know in the stronger moments of my life when I have confronted some of my deepest wounds have been also the most strengthening and brought the most insight.As you get closer deeper ones surface; fully enforced by the beliefs you have about yourself, that the world has about you, trying their hardest to undermine your power. With each conquered battle you get closer to the centre of yourself, where your true power flows. This is the place to act from. When you sit right at the core of yourself, your in the best position to see the injustices in the World and act.

Biography?

In the article "Autobiography: Does it have a future? Wystan Curnow writes about creative forms of life writing that open up our definition of self and the myths of identity. Through experimenting with the form itself in life writing .....
An example workin the article is by poet Lyn Hejinian called My Life (1980). Written in her 37th year, it has 37 sentences in each of its 37 chapters containing fragments of recollection. In discussing Hejinian's approach, Curnow writes; "one's memories do take place in the present, are largely fragments, and the narratives that link them in most biographies are questionable fictions and rationalizations which commonly have use for what is most alive to us from our part." (p20, my italics) In Audre Lorde's Zami, you could argue the choices of memories she reflects on rationalize her current position and perspective, but certainly not that those moments don't have use for whats most alive in us (or Lorde).
Curnow's interest in Hejinian's piece is in its ability to "more faithfully represent our experience of experience"(p20) and in doing so includes the reader to set their own associations going, creating "possiblities for outward connection" (p20).

The newly defined genre; biomythography of Zami can be interpreted in multiple ways. My first instinct it to recognize her prose narrative as inserting herself within the myths she wears as an outsider. She places herself directly into her experience of an event, relying very little on presenting detailed historical facts or dogmatic statements to validate her position. For example; "Muriel radiated a quiet self-knowledge which I mistook for self acceptance." (Zami, p 186) The statement that Muriel radiated self knowledge is not a legitimate fact but a personal interpretation, which is common throughout the book.
The tone of Zami always lets me know she is speaking from personal authority (often because it reflects her outsider position) and that over the course of the book seems to build like a mantra to the importance of that position in finding and asserting your own place.
During certain sections of Zami, Lorde includes older poems written from the time she is reflecting on, which serves as a reminder that she's writing from her present understanding of the past. This is also a more accurate representation of how memory works in the first place. Highlighting the process of how build our positions I think gives the reader more opportunities to connect.

Choice

what can you truly believe?

I have this tiny kernel -
a tiny seed
all the ways of being I can grow to embody
what makes them the truthful, genuine expression of myself?

I know I keep this little kernel waiting and guarded. I useful technique for preservation, not to be discounted in 'life threatening' situations.
But fear, reality and laws of nature blur the separation between dangerous and life threatening. To open up and live out, I will absolutely be faced with change that threatens who I know myself to be.

I see in the reflection of your history the lessons you've claimed to build a life of meaning.

" do not let the differences pull you apart. Use them, examine them, go through them, grow from them. We do not have to become each other in order to work together."

Beyond the Cassandra Metaphor

"The term originates in Greek mythology. Cassandra was a daughter of Priam, the King of Troy. Struck by her beauty, Apollo provided her with the gift of prophecy, but when Cassandra refused Apollo's romantic advances, he placed a curse ensuring that none would believe her warnings. Cassandra was left with the knowledge of future events, but could neither alter these events nor convince others of the validity of her predictions." "The Cassandra metaphor is a term applied in situations in which valid warnings or concerns are dismissed or disbelieved." (Wikipedia, May 15, 2009)
A story’s ability to change our perspective of ourselves and those we see as other is so powerfully affecting is can be a threat to our systems of belief. Alberto Manuel’s City of Words presents the story of Cassandra, who’s insights and stories were so outside the conventional view they were not believed (2007, 22) Manguel’s interpretation of Cassandra is of a character who’s insight was something to be feared because she wasn’t speaking from the established views of society. As a poet-story “maker” who exposes a fuller representation of reality, she was a threat to the social order and vilified (2007, 21). When it comes to deeply entrenched social practices we aren’t comfortable allowing just anyone to act the authority to contest them.
Audre Lorde was not just a gifted seer, nor a scapegoat. She took the way she saw the world and with agency constructed a life of action. Finding ways of placing herself at the centre of her own outsider life offered new ways of moving in the world. With a clear view of our world and our honest positions this has inspired others, showing the space around concretized ideologies we can all create.
Zami, to me, is a testament to the realities and struggles of finding our way to the centre of our own lives against the myth of insurmountable odds.
What also feels very different about this book is the myth of getting to a final goal, a realized dream. Lorde's alternative biographical work is not a " I struggled and look at me now" perspective. It reflects a process, that is as linked intrinsically to her life, to who she is, within this oppressive world we all share.