"The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized sensation. For this reason, we have often turned away from the exploration and consideration of the erotic as a source of power and information, confusing it with its opposite, the pornographic. But pornography is a direct denial of the power of the erotic, for it represents the suppression of true feeling. Pornography emphasizes sensation without feeling.
The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings. It is an internal sense of satisfaction to which, once we have experienced it, we know we can aspire. For having experienced the fullness of this depth of feeling and recognizing its power, in honor and self-respect we can require no less of ourselves.
It is never easy to demand the most from ourselves, from our lives, from our work. To encourage excellence is to go beyond the encouraged mediocrity of our society. But giving in to the fear of feeling and working to capacity is a luxury only the unintentional can afford, and the unintentional are those who do not wish to guide their own destinies."
I have often struggled and been fed up with the lack of self acceptance I feel/felt about my own body and personal power. Few and far between moments of clarity and embodied empowerment have seized me but are hard for me to sustain and live out. I struggle to own my self and my most painful experiences. Still, those moments of clarity have let me know that this is what counts, this is feeling fully alive, this is the place to move from and worth the struggle.
ReplyDeleteAbout a year ago, out of despair I googled the word "embodiment." The fist thing to come up was Audre Lorde's essay; Uses of the Erotic: the erotic as power."
I cried through the whole article. I felt like all the things I felt and couldn't express were articulated, eloquently. I felt understood in a way I never have.